Just me, myself, and Allah (swt)

Sometimes we find ourselves disappointed and after we cool down (aka usually sleeping on it for a bit) we try to look for that root cause of disappointment. For me, that root cause is usually myself. It’s the disappointment in myself for being selfless for an extra second when maybe I should’ve taken that second for myself instead. I’ve thought long and hard about this from time to time though and I’ve realized that the problem stems from internally holding expectations for others. Is it selfish to want to be in someones corner but then expect them to return the favor when you need it? Is that really too much to ask for?

I think what we fail to realize in these moments is that the only One you can truly depend on besides yourself is Allah (swt). Why do we forget in these moments that He is the One who is the source of all of our sustenance? That He is Ar-Razzaaq, the ever-providing. Why do we forget that not only now, but on the day in which we are standing before Him, we will have nothing but ourselves, our deeds, and the mercy that He has bestowed upon us?

ok wow this was a lot shorter than I thought it’d be and I realize that it has a lot more questions than I usually ask in my writing too, but I guess that’s cause I’m still trying to answer them for myself. Experiencing something (even if it’s small) that breaks a part of you during Ramadan should be seen as a blessing because it quite literally does turn you back to Allah (swt) and it reminds you of Him, His infinite mercy, and everything that He has provided for you. I genuinely believe that Allah (swt) brings every person in your life into it for a reason. The Prophet (pbuh) too had friends whose stories are told through Hadith and the Quran. But it’s important not to forget the One you can depend on without being afraid of breaking or being let down.